3 Golden Rules To Getting Your Wife Back After Separation

Published: 30th January 2012
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My wife recently left me and now I really want to get her back. Are there any steps I can take to salvage my relationship with her and eventually win her back?


Unfortunately this question about how to win your wife back is something that gets asked all to often. Being married myself, I can imagine how hard it must be to lose the woman you love. But what's more difficult is the realization that you probably had a large part to play in her leaving you. Luckily I have good news for you. Getting back with your wife after a separation can be done and it's something that has been done by many married men in the past. So if you really want to get her back into your arms, you need to be willing to take a little advice and some action.

Below I'm going to outline the actions you need to take that will help you to get your wife back after you've separated.

How to get her back with 3 simple personal adjustments.

1. Step one requires that you do some soul searching. And you need to be willing to look deep within yourself and be willing to face your own flaws and shortcomings as a man. I understand that this isn't an easy thing to do and that it's really easy to blame her as well, but it's an important step when it comes to winning your wife's heart again. So what was it about you that made it so difficult for your wife to want to stay with you? Are you self absorbed, short tempered or emotionally distant? Were you unappreciative of her cooking or were you insensitive in some other way? Either way, whatever your personal issues were, you need to man up and own it if you want to have a chance to win your wife back. This isn't about going through the motions. This is about making changes to your life and the person that you are.

Here's what I suggest you do to help make the changes in your life easier. Take a pen and paper and make a list of your shortcomings and faults when it comes to your dealings with your wife.

Next, number your list and set a timeline for yourself to start working on the character traits that need work. My recommendation is that you spend about 1 week working on each trait that needs to be improved on.

Something that I leaned a long time ago was that if I wanted to be with a certain type of person, I had to become the type of person they wanted to be with. Now I fully understand that your wife wasn't perfect either in the relationship, but trying to change someone else only brings friction into the relationship. It's much easier to change ourselves and then let our counterparts respond to the changes we've made in kind.

Now I want to caution you here, this is where we as humans tend to make a mistake and as a result we fail in our efforts. Make sure to cut yourself some slack here. You won't be able to change everything over night, so you need to give yourself a little time for each aspect of your life that you want to work on.

2. Improve your appearance. The next step you need to take when it comes to getting your wife back is to improve your appearance.

Women love a man who looks nice and is well groomed because it gives them something to show off to their friends. So if this is something that's lacking in your life, use this opportunity while you're separated to improve your physical appearance.

Go out and buy a new wardrobe for yourself and get a haircut and become somebody that your wife wants to be seen with and show off.

It doesn't cost much and your investment in yourself will pay off handsomely when you meet up with your wife and show her the new you.

3. Get a life. Along with looking good, something else that women find attractive in men is confidence. They often tell me that a man who knows what he wants and has direction in his life, no matter what it is, is very attracting.

So now that you know this, go out and improve your life. If you've got a career established and can take some training to enhance your skills, now is the perfect time to do it.

Think of yourself as an investment to your wife. She's invested time in you and wants a good rate of return on her investment. So how do you do this? By investing in yourself.

So we've identified 3 things you can do to help get your wife back:

1. Change Yourself
2. Improve Your Appearance
3. Invest in Yourself

The next step after you've started these 3 things is to have a friendly face to face meeting with your wife. Hopefully once you meet up, she'll be able to notice the changes you've started to make your life. This is a great time to brag about the progress you've made and to let her know what you've got going on, especially where improving your career and direction are involved.

Now that you fully understand where to start when it comes to getting your wife back and how to shape your face to face meeting, take action and turn your thoughts into a reality by going through each of the 3 steps.

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