How Is it possible to get my husband back and have him love me again?

Published: 27th March 2012
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Question:

It seems like my spouse and I are worlds apart. He seems distant at this moment and Iím uncertain what to do. I donít think he loves me anymore. Is it possible to get my husband back and have him love me again?

Answer:

This is a tough position to be in. And itís difficult to be in love with someone who you think doesnít love you back. But what should you do if the person who is supposed to love you but doesnít turns out to be your spouse?

Sometimes couples emotionally drift apart. However, just because your relationship has hit a tough spot, doesnít mean it canít be overcome. Itís much easier to resolve issues in your relationship if they are somewhat minor. However, if there have been instances of abuse or cheating by your husband, you might want to re-evaluate your desire to get back together. An abusive relationship is something that shouldnít be tolerated. If youíve found yourself in this situation, chances are your foundation wasnít really built on love.

If you still want to go ahead and try and save the relationship, consider seeing a marriage therapist. If your husband was abusive towards you, there are issues that need to be dealt with before the two of you can make real progress. Talk to the therapist. Theyíll be able to help you sort out your feelings and figure out if going back to your husband is the best move for you.

However, if there are no serious issues between you two, find out if your husband has indeed, fallen out of love with you. You might be surprised to find that your husband still cares deeply for you, but his feelings have taken a back seat for one reason or another.

Maybe both spouses are so over worked and stressed out that by the end of the day, making time for them isnít high on the priority list. Even the smallest details of a relationship like back tickles, foot rubs and shoulder rubs fall through the cracks when life gets too stressful. Weíre not assigning blame here, so it doesnít matter which spouse stopped doing those things first. The point is that when they stop, it sends the message that ďyouíre not important enough in the relationship for the little thingsĒ and so the other spouse naturally concludes that they donít love them anymore.

Chances are this is the root of the problem. Your husband is sitting there just waiting for you to love him again, but he might not want to come and tell you outright because he doesnít want to get rejected. So if you want to find out if this is really the case, set aside some free time for just the two of you where there are no distractions. Itís easy in this day and age to say that you donít have any free time. And we feel like weíre being pulled in so many different directions with work and home life. But at the end of the day, itís your marriage and your relationship with your husband that counts. You may have to put a few things on hold, but the end results will be worth it.

Have a look at your calendar to verify youíre both free and pencil in a date. It doesnít need to be anything extravagant. Keep it simplistic and use it to reconnect with each other and re-ignite the romantic spark between you. Get acquainted with each other all over again. Spending time together without the kids or other distractions is crucial to marital success and happiness because it reminds you of the happy times you had with each other. Generally, thatís all there is to it. Spend time with each other without distractions and let your feelings for each other develop naturally.


So to answer your original question: Can I get my husband back and have him love me again, the answer is yes.

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