The Right Way to Get Your Boyfriend Back Ė Why Your Next Move Will Make It Or Break It

Published: 18th April 2012
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Question:

I want to get my ex boyfriend back so bad but I donít know how. He broke up with me and broke my heart but I still love him and want to be with him. How can I make him realize Iím the girl for him?

Answer:

Thanks, thatís a great question and Iíve got the answer for you below:

Itís apparent that after the breakup youíre left standing alone with a broken heart trying to pick up the pieces of your relationship. Your ex isnít returning your calls or texts and as the clock slowly ticks away you feel him slipping though your fingers, but whatís killing you deep inside is that you have no idea where to start or what to do to get him back.

If this is where youíre at right now, take comfort. Everyone from every walk of life at some point in time has broken up with someone, so even though you may feel alone, youíre not. Many couples break up but more importantly many of these couples also make up.

Itís important for you to know that no matter how your relationship ended or what caused it, you can always get back with your ex.

Before you read any further, I want you to take a minute to stop and picture yourself in an open space with no one around.

Now I want you to imagine that there are several different paths around you leading you away in every possible direction. These paths represent the many different roads you can take to get your boyfriend back. Most will lead you away from him, but there are a few that will land you right back in his arms.

Knowing which paths you should or shouldnít take is key here. If you choose wrong and go down the wrong path for too long, youíll push him away. However if you pick the right path at the right time you can not only get back together but you can do it in record time.

The greatest tool at your disposal right now is knowledge. Getting back together with your ex is a skill and just like dating people, itís something you get better at over time. If you know and understand your exís mind you have a much better chance of doing and saying the right things at the right time.

At the end of the day itís all about how you time things with him. You still need to choose the right path to go down, but more importantly you need to do it at the correct speed. Move to fast and heíll bolt the other way. Donít move at all and heíll lose interest in you and your window of opportunity will be gone.

Knowing where you need to start is the central thing here. There are fast methods and techniques available to you to help you to take those first steps on the correct path. Find out what you should and shouldnít do directly below before making your next move.

Avoiding The Most Common Breakup Mistakes

The time period right after the break up is the most crucial one because the actions you take or donít take will most likely determine the difficulty of getting back together. Making the wrong moves here can bring you big problems because they do things for the sake of looking interested in getting back together.

Itís important for you to know at this time that your mistakes will be put under the microscope. I know deep down your gut reaction is to make a move and do everything possible to halt the breakup. The harsh reality is that doing something right now would make the situation worse, not better.

Right now youíre at your lowest point emotionally. Youíve got thousands of thoughts running around in your head and you donít know how to deal with them and itís easer to act than to sit and think things through.

Hopelessness, misery, anger, resentmentÖ it doesnít take a lot right now to do or say something youíll regret later and any over-reaction by you could drive him further away and make any chance of getting back together more difficult or maybe even impossible.

Running after, begging, pleading, stalkingÖ you might think these actions will bring him back to you, but they wonít. Doing these things only hurts you and makes you look desperate.

Let me take you into the mind of a guy after a breakup:

ďWhen I break up with a girl the last thing I need is to hear from her because every conversation is centered around the relationship and getting back together.Ē

ďItís difficult to talk to her understanding she still wants you back, sometimes you donít know what to say. And whatever you do say wonít make her happy, therefore the ideal thing to do is to avoid her.Ē

ďIf she keeps calling and texting things tend to get out of hand fast, and soon sheís angry at you as well as being upset. Breaking up is stressful enough without the additional drama.Ē


Obviously, thereís no early quick fix for your break up and when you move too quickly too soon, your ex boyfriendís first instinct is to keep away from you not draw closer to you. Itís possible you could make him upset and resentful which could make things awkward for both of you and when youíre finally ready to get back with him heíll remember the awkward feelings and it will be a roadblock for you.

Your Best Moves Immediately After The Breakup

Believe it or not, you need to let him just walk away at this point.

Itís that simple. I know it sounds wierd but when you let him out of the relationship without any fighting or harsh feelings you gain his respect and that puts you in the driverís seat. Having his respect is a critical step in getting him back again.

Whatís even better is as your ex and you part ways, heíll wonder why youíre not chasing him. Chances are he expected a huge fight with you but you turned the tables on him by not doing anything and as a result set him off his game.

Ending the relationship on good terms will work wonders for you. Not only will it drive him crazy, but heíll feel like he was rejected also.

Despite the fact that he initiated the separation, he relied on the fact that you still loved him and banked on the fact that youíd try and talk him out of it. No doubt he anticipated you to chase him and try and keep the relationship going.

But instead of the reaction he expected from you, youíve suddenly walked away without a care in the world and heís left wondering how much you value the relationship. He might also think youíre seeing someone else and for all he knows, you agree to the breakup as much as he does.

Agreeing With and Accepting The Break up Ė Why It Works

You might have read a lot about this theory already and thatís because accepting your fate and the situation instead of fighting it puts you in a position of strength.

In order to end up back together again, any action you take must be done from a position of power and control. If you donít have this, you wonít get very far.

Donít forget this one point. Your ex boyfriend had an expectation about how you would be affected by the breakup and every time you do something unanticipated you get more power and control over what happens next. By going against the grain in a breakup youíre actually taking charge and steering it back to reconciliation. Thatís how you get him back.

He canít argue with you when you go along with the breakup because you throw him off when youíre on the same page.

What To Do If Your Break Up Already Happened

If by chance you and the ex-boyfriend have actually been split up for quite a while then agreeing to the breakup might not be good enough now, especially if you fought against the breakup to start with.

Luckily for you itís not too late for you to take a similar course of action. You can still detach yourself from the relationship and show your ex that youíve made peace with the situation and accepted the breakup.


So do you see why your next move will make it or break it when it comes to getting back together with your ex boyfriend?
If you really want to get him back it comes down to doing the right things at the right time in the right order.

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